Are you an Independent Thinker?

Of course I am, I hear you say. I thought I was too. Let me tell you about my journey.

I am in the middle of delving through a book by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, "Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life on Living the Wisdom of the Tao".   As I came across the 13^th Verse part of this verse really struck me:

“Why are favor and disgrace alarming?

Seeking favor is degrading:

Alarming when it is gotten,

Alarming when it is lost.”

I had always heard the quote: “Other people’s of me are none of my business” which is theory worked but not always in practice.

As Dr Dyer says in his dialog: “It’s crucial to remain independent of both positive and negative opinions of other people.” As I sat wondering about that I realized as a child if we got a lot of criticism we were always looking for that elusive approval. In other cases children had been liberally given approval whether or not they deserved it and so they believed everything they did was fantastic.

Which case did you have as a child, the parent with too much approval or the child with too much criticism?

How has that measured in your life? Are you free to trust your own opinions? Allowing yourself to be guided by your own inner thoughts in other words the “natural” you. We all have our own answers deep within. Take the time to find out what they are.

How important is what you do? How important is what you earn? How important is where you live? Ask yourselves these questions, how much does that measure who you are as a person?

Even as I write this I am monitoring my words because I want you to read this and approve of what I am saying. We get so hooked into other people’s opinions.

Let me explain:

Every week I go to a botanical art class and as I had read the 13^th verse that day before going, I realized how much we can rely on other’s opinions. This is a fairly new environment for me and one I feel quite vulnerable in. As she came closer I realized I was tightening up within myself, so worried about her opinion. Now as you don’t know my teacher she is without one of the most gentle and humble people I have met in a long time. Why would her opinion worry me? Well it did this day I so wanted her positive opinion that my painting became very stilted. I was almost too scared to put brush to paper.

As I observed these feelings I realized how much I relied on what other people’s opinions were all about whether they were negative or positive. When they were positive I felt elated and happy. When they were negative the self-doubt that crept in was phenomenal.

Okay, you might think that was just a little drawing class. Not all that important in the scheme of things. It is important to me and that is all that counts. So, lets think, how often do we let the opinions of others affect the things we do in life, whether it be at home or at work?

As Dr. Dyer says: “If you gain approval, you’ll become a slave to outside messages of praise – some-one else’s opinion will be directing your life. If you gain disfavor, you’ll push even harder to change their minds, and you’ll be directed by forces outside of yourself. Both outcomes result in the dependent mind dominating, as opposed to the way of the Tao, in which the independent mind flows freely”

See how directed your life can be or is by other people’s opinions.

Needless to say I am back on track just putting a brush on paper with some paint on it.

Comments

[Matthew Roberts]

That's an great quote, thanks for sharing Elly.

But I still don't think we need to eliminate all desires of approval and disapproval from our lives... just the ones that interfere with who we really are (e.g. doing something you find immoral just for the approval of a group of others)

Matthew
http://www.InspirationToAchieve.com

[Elly]

Sure I understand what you are saying about eliminating all desires for approval and disapproval. As long as it doesn't control what we are doing. Also if we sit in our true nature does approval or disapproval matter anyway. Doing the immoral something you are referring to: Would you be even thinking of doing it if you were living from your true nature. It wouldn't matter what the others were thinking but what was fitting in with your values about who you are.
Living our true nature and essence gives us the freedom to be who we really are.

[Tina Su]

Thanks for inspiring me.I really enjoy the content of your blog.

Love & Gratitude,
Tina
Think Simple. Be Decisive.
~ Productivity, Motivation & Happiness

[Petrov]

it is great!